When to Say "Yes" and When to Say "No"
By Michael Masterson
I make a lot of commitments that unnecessarily add stress to my life. Why I find it so difficult to say "no," I can't say. But it's something I'm teaching myself to do.
The first step is to figure out when to say "yes" and when to say "no." Here's what I've come up with...
1. Say "yes" - often but not always - to two people: your spouse and your business partner.
2. Say "no" - as often as you possibly can - to everyone who asks you for help. This would include:
your lazy colleague
your shiftless friend
your spoiled children/grandchildren
your most self-centered customers
anyone who isn't willing to give back
Here's something else you can do to lighten your load and maintain your forward momentum:
Write a list of 20 things - people, situations, responsibilities - that cause you stress.
Reduce that list to 10.
Reduce it again to three.
Now pick one of those three - and stop doing it.
If you are like me, the thing that is creating the most stress in your life right now is something you are doing to help out someone who doesn't deserve it. And if you're like me, you feel guilty about even thinking about stopping.
Do yourself a favor. Call him up right now and tell him very definitively that you are going to stop doing it at the end of this day/week/month/year. Offer a simple explanation. Don't feel the need to elaborate. If he objects, say "I'm sorry that this will be inconvenient for you. I am sure you will be fine in the end. But the decision has been made."
And stick to it.
Try it. You'll be amazed at how good it makes you feel. Do that and don't take on another responsibility for at least 24 hours.
This article appears courtesy of Early To Rise, the Internet’s most popular health, wealth, and success e-zine. For a complimentary subscription, visit http://www.earlytorise.com.
Not too bad advice. I am on track with agreeing with his statement on saying yes often but not always to your wife, which is something I have always tried to do but sometimes it is harder to do than others and ends up in discord... something for another post, in my head.
On his line about making a list of the 20 things, then reducing it, then again... I just don't see how that works. There have got to be certain circumstances where that is not possible to 'reduce the stress', particularily if it involves family or friends. I know I have some things beening done around me that are causing me stress and I would love for them to be stopped and have even tried to put an end to them -to no such luck, the things are still going on and I am still being stressed about them (along with other things). Maybe he is talking about something different. Not saying it cannot be done, just not sure how it can work.