18 December 2007

A Christmas Wish

To All My Democrat Friends:Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

To My Republican Friends: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Smarter than a first grader?

A first grade school teacher in Virginia had 25 students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the first half of a well known proverb and asked each to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1. Don't change the horses... until they stop running.
2. Strike while the... bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before... Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of... termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but... how?
6. Don't bite the hand that... looks dirty.
7. No news is... impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a... Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new... math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust... me.
12. The pen is mightier than the... pigs.
13. An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's... pollution.
15. Happy is the bride who... gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is... not much.
17. Two's company, three's... the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what... you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as... Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you... see in the picture on the box.
24. When the blind lead the blind... get out of the way.

and the winner and last one!

25. Better late than... pregenant.

Christmas Countdown